Dear Readers,

Many of my clients would rather run themselves ragged than be called selfish.

To avoid seeming selfish or uncommitted, they give of themselves until they are exhausted.

They work long hours. They stop going to the gym. They don’t exercise their “No” with friends or family.

Then they wonder why they feel burnt out, tired, and can’t create the relationship with others (or themselves) they want.

This is because, ultimately, their choices are based in AVOIDANCE.

They are focused on what they DON’T want to be.

In this black-and-white world, they’re either selfish (bad) or unselfish (good).

When they stop and examine the fear of being selfish, they start to see a grey area. They start to see that being selfish can be the BEST thing you can do for others.

What does it even mean to be selfish?

It means we put ourselves first.

It means we take care of our own needs.

It means we put on our proverbial oxygen mask before we assist others.

Because, honestly, who are we going to help if we’re passed out in the emergency exit?

To give others our highest and best, we must first exquisitely support ourselves.

I recently saw an interview between Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant that described this beautifully.

“How you treat yourself is how you treat God because you are the representative of God in your life,” Vanzant said.

“So it’s not selfish to put yourself first?” Oprah asked.

“No, It’s self-ful… to be as good as possible to you. You want to come with your cup full.”


Remember: What we avoid controls us. Facing, and changing our relationship to, what we fear is access to freedom.

Imagine the impeccable energy you could bring to others if you were fully sourced, fully supported, fully cared for.

What could you create in your family, your relationships, and your career if you truly put your needs first?

Imagine how THAT version of yourself would show up to a challenge. Imagine how THAT version of yourself would treat others.

I invite you to step into the grey area — to embrace mindful selfishness.

I invite you to give yourself permission to have the self-care or support you’ve been craving.

A life of powerful intention and possibility is within your reach. Are you self-ful enough to claim it?


Did this blog post resonate with you?

I want to know: What is your biggest takeaway?

Embrace the Adventure,


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