On November 8, 2020, some of my closest friends gathered for a very special occasion: my marriage to myself.
It was uncomfortable to plan this event. Each step of the way forced me outside my comfort zone. What would people think if I married myself? Was it selfish to have an entire non-birthday celebration dedicated to just me? Could I get myself a ring (I REALLY wanted to)?Would people think I was compensating for not being married? Was it ok to spend this much money on myself? Would people take the ceremony seriously? Would my vows be meaningful to me or would they feel weird? Would I cry in front of everyone? (The answer: Several times).
I also had to ask for help. I needed a ring bearer, a wedding officiant, a photographer, a musician/DJ, and… and… and…
Now, I am OVER THE MOON that I went ahead with the event… read on to see more photos (make sure to read the captions!), check out my vows, hear about highlights from the day and learn about some of the quirky (and perfectly me) things that I did.
When the day came, I took it seriously…
I spent the morning writing my vows, went and got my hair done and spent plenty of time dressing up and doing my makeup. Two of my best friends, Michael Gordon and Peter Will Benjamin, took care of me. Peter made me a delicious lunch so I didn’t forget to eat and Michael was the logistics master (and fixed the cake — making it look EVEN BETTER — after we experienced the Great Cake Disaster of 2020).
My gift to MYSELF that day was this: I chose to LOVE every minute of the experience and release any expectation of how it would go.
That decision was pivotal. It gave me permission to be totally present and laugh at or enjoy things that might have seemed “imperfect” before.
My Vows From That Day:
Megan, you are a beautiful, whimsical, intelligent, wild, and utterly magnificent creature. I am beyond thrilled that I get to spend my life with you. You bring joy to even mundane tasks, love sooooo deeply and can see the good in people and situations.
I remember one of the first moments I fell in love with you and your lust for life. You were eight years old an on a trip into the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Looking in the rearview mirror, you noticed how clear and green your eyes were.
I’m happy here, you thought.
This might have been one of the first times you felt your intuition and were able to put what you felt into words.
When dad stopped the car for a break, you wandered into the forest nearby and pretended you were on an expedition. It was thrilling and adventurous. You knew in that moment you wanted to be a photojournalist and live in the mountains.
YOUR intentions are powerful. You went on to become a photojournalist and to spend time with many mountains. You’ve since listened to your intuition and followed it to great success, despite what others thought or said.
My wish for us is to continue our journey of self-love and self-actualization, to go beyond people pleasing and create a life perfectly aligned with our values. Let’s stay wild.
I promise I will continue to love you, CHOOSE to love you in the difficult moments and cultivate my relationship with you so that it becomes richer, deeper, more fun and more kind.
In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, in every moment… we’re in this together.
I’m grateful to have you as my partner on this wild ride called life.
It wouldn’t be a wedding without a ring, right?
I looked around for a long time to find my ring. I ordered a bunch of rings from Amazon and other online jewelers, but nothing seemed quite right. In the end, it was my mom that found my ring — a diamond and white gold band from T.J. Maxx (50% off, baby!). She decided to give this ring to me as a gift, and shared with me that her mom had given her a ring, too. Every time she looked at it, she thought of her. It made both of us cry.
Up until that time, I had wanted to find the ring MYSELF. Then I realized that self-love can sometimes mean letting others take care of you.
I’ll end by dispelling a few myths about marrying yourself. Marrying yourself DOES NOT mean that:
- You’re selfish
- You’re single
- You’re recovering from heartbreak
- You can’t celebrate in the same way you would a wedding to someone else (i.e. cake, invitations, vows, etc…)
- People will think you are over-the-top, ridiculous or unreasonable
What marrying yourself DOES mean is:
- You’re ready for a new level of self-love
- You’ll get to see who among your friends is up for supporting you at an awesome new level
- You can prioritize yourself in a wonderful way
- You get to have a beautiful ring!
Have you ever thought about marrying yourself? Share the details or your dream self-wedding below!