Are you waiting for the “right” way to get started? Or the “best” next step to appear?
Are you waiting until conditions are perfect? Until you have the “right” equipment, tools, or techniques to take the leap into what you KNOW is next for you?
If you find this is your mindset, you may be kicking the can down the road. And because the road through life is (hopefully) long…. you can keep kicking that can for a VERY long time.
What if the question weren’t about the “right” time, but about…
- Having fun
- Sharing your gifts with the world
- Honoring your process
- Learning sacred lessons as you go that ensure your long-term success
When we remember that it’s about THOSE things, rather than perfectionism, we make magic happen. We do the work to make ourselves and our mission visible. And then…
The right partners appear.
Sh*t actually happens!
I experienced a great example of the “Just do it!” attitude a few weeks ago when I did an interview about authentic relating with my friends Karen and Philippa. These ladies run a podcast called “Women of Uncertain Age” and I love the attitude they bring to this passion project. We did the podcast session at Philippa’s kitchen table. We recorded the session with her iPhone. We drank a little wine and laughed a lot.
Was it perfect? No way. But it was a hell of a lot of fun… and we had a great conversation that made a difference for people (through their “Just Do It!” attitude, they’ve created a dedicated following!). In fact, someone who heard the podcast attended my last Authentic Relating Games night because she was inspired by what she learned.
Let your LOVE be bigger than your FEAR.
Let your desire to SERVE others and HAVE FUN be BIGGER than the reasons why you can’t.
You can do it.
Embrace the Adventure,
P.S. Let me know what you think of the podcast!
Woops! This blog post had the wrong title!
…and right after I wrote about choosing “Just do it!” over perfectionism.
You can’t make this stuff up.
Let this be a magical, cosmic reminder that DOING THE THING — even if you get the title wrong 😉 — is better than not taking action.
Embrace the Adventure,
Many of my clients would rather run themselves ragged than be called selfish.
To avoid seeming selfish or uncommitted, they give of themselves until they are exhausted.
They work long hours. They stop going to the gym. They don’t exercise their “No” with friends or family.
Then they wonder why they feel burnt out, tired, and can’t create the relationship with others (or themselves) they want.
This is because, ultimately, their choices are based in AVOIDANCE.
They are focused on what they DON’T want to be.
In this black-and-white world, they’re either selfish (bad) or unselfish (good).
When they stop and examine the fear of being selfish, they start to see a grey area. They start to see that being selfish can be the BEST thing you can do for others.
What does it even mean to be selfish?
It means we put ourselves first.
It means we take care of our own needs.
It means we put on our proverbial oxygen mask before we assist others.
Because, honestly, who are we going to help if we’re passed out in the emergency exit?
To give others our highest and best, we must first exquisitely support ourselves.
I recently saw an interview between Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant that described this beautifully.
“How you treat yourself is how you treat God because you are the representative of God in your life,” Vanzant said.
“So it’s not selfish to put yourself first?” Oprah asked.
“No, It’s self-ful… to be as good as possible to you. You want to come with your cup full.”
Remember: What we avoid controls us. Facing, and changing our relationship to, what we fear is access to freedom.
Imagine the impeccable energy you could bring to others if you were fully sourced, fully supported, fully cared for.
What could you create in your family, your relationships, and your career if you truly put your needs first?
Imagine how THAT version of yourself would show up to a challenge. Imagine how THAT version of yourself would treat others.
I invite you to step into the grey area — to embrace mindful selfishness.
I invite you to give yourself permission to have the self-care or support you’ve been craving.
A life of powerful intention and possibility is within your reach. Are you self-ful enough to claim it?
Did this blog post resonate with you?
I want to know: What is your biggest takeaway?
Embrace the Adventure,
In honor of International Women’s Day, I want to feature a few ladies who have made a big difference for me this year, as well as offer a free, three-hour coaching intensive to a woman who is making a difference for those around her.
Who is this gorgeous babe, you ask? Why, it’s Leah Beilhart! Photographer, videographer, and community leader extraordinaire! Leah makes a massive contribution through her community Behold.Her in Washington DC and does beautiful work for her clients — all while being kind, gracious, and quirky in the best way. She is to thank for our beautiful video of the Dominican retreat.
It’s not often your AirBnB host becomes a friend. Darys is an amazing woman and fate brought us together in the Dominican Republic. Darys lived in New York for many years and worked on Wall Street before moving back to the DR to become the first female CEO of the Dominican Stock Exchange. She came from modest beginnings and recently released a book about her path to success. She is in the midst of launching her international speaking career (just last week she spoke at three events in Colombia), and it’s been a blast to work side by side with her from her apartment. She is honest, kind, and all-around badass.
In 2017, Dance Adventures collaborated with Mickela — the Emmy-Award-Winning host of the television show Bare Feet — to run our dance trip to Argentina. Mickela’s tenacity is inspiring. Initially, she struggled to find support for her show because she didn’t look like a typical television host. She stayed with it and now has three Emmys under her belt. She is an amazing example of what happens when a brilliant woman applies herself to a project she adores.
Make sure to follow these three ladies so you receive updates on the amazing things they’re creating!
Embrace the adventure,
Magic, magic, magic!
Our Dominican Republic Reset Retreat was absolutely incredible!
We enjoyed coaching workshops, authentic relating games, ziplining, ATV touring, swimming in waterfalls, bike rides to the beach, and more.
This retreat gave people the space to powerfully plan 2018, create new friendships, and completely unplug from their day-to-day.
Do NOT miss the chance to come with us next year! If you’re interested, reply to this post and you will be the first to know our dates for 2019!
More updates to come (including my hilarious left shark moment in a salsa performance here in the DR!), so stay tuned!
Embrace the adventure,
How we INTERPRET what happens to us makes all the difference.
Our interpretations can make us miserable, delighted, frustrated, inspired and everything in between. They can also turn a seemingly negative situation into a powerful learning opportunity,
My first week in the Dominican is the perfect example.
After my Facebook Live on January 1, I hopped onto my plane to the DR feeling great. Creativity was surging through me as I flew down the East Coast and over the ocean.
“This will be my most inspired week of business!” I declared.
Upon my arrival, I had two insane days of productivity: I created new tools, listened to podcasts by my favorite thought-leaders, served my clients, and settled in beautifully.
“I am doing it!” I declared. “I am amazing and everything is going as planned!”
…and then came the evil death flu of 2018, including fever, chills, weakness, vomiting, and all the other dreaded symptoms.
This flu threw my plan off course, and I felt frustrated and scared. In my mind, I equated working hard to being safe in my new environment. If I couldn’t work hard…then what would happen?
Then I remembered this: When I see everything as perfect, I can turn the most challenging situations into opportunities. So I asked myself:
“How is this perfect? What is the divine lesson for me?”
The answer was crystal clear.
The flu forced me to slow down and actually be with my transition to this new country. While running full speed ahead is my default and a way I know to protect myself, it would have left me isolated and homesick during this huge new transition.
Instead, the flu forced me to seek support. It felt uncomfortable to ask my friends here to make me food, get me medicine, and help me with basic day-to-day things. That is a level of support I never would have sought without the flu.
Yet allowing myself to receive so much support was a huge gift. It reminded me that I’m not alone and that a new type of community is a huge part of why I am trying life here.
The support created a foundation for the relationships I am building.
Practicing gratitude and seeing everything as perfect allowed me to:
1) stay in the moment, rather than worrying about the future
2) feel inspired, even in the face of my illness
3) Be more open and authentic with those around me
I want to share this gift with you, readers. If you’re game, try out the following questions:
1. What are you currently looking at as a curse?
2. How is this actually perfect (if the answer doesn’t immediately come to mind, i suggest you free write about it for 10 minutes).
I hope you find this practice as rewarding as I did.
Embrace the Adventure,
Hello Lovely Readers,
A quick request before my story:
If you enjoy my updates, but ALSO want 1) tips on business 2) guidance on becoming a stronger leader 3) tools to create more authentic and connected relationships and 4) special offers for my courses and products, sign up for my business email list here.
Okay! Now to the main event…
In September, I had the opportunity to take a safari in South Africa.* And, while the experience inspired me, it wasn’t for the reason you might expect.
The safari was an (often morbid) reminder of the harsh parts and fragility of life. While we saw many beautiful things, we also saw predators hunt prey and wounded animals get left behind by their families. As we approached some of the fiercest animals in the world, we were reminded how to stay safe. Those recommendations were supported by tragic stories about people who did not heed the advice.
As all of this unfolded, my coach brain was going a mile a minute. Witnessing life in the African bush led me to many insights…but here’s the one I was most inspired to share:
Humans are frickin’ magical
The fact that early humans survived in this environment completely blows my mind (and, yes, I know many communities still call the African bush home — that’s amazing too!).
Our ancestors faced the threats of lions, leopards, scorpions, snakes, drought and more, and STILL grew a population big enough to span the globe.
To me, this means a few important things:
1) We are endowed with incredible intuition
We are programmed to sense even the most minute details and changes in our environment. In the early days, intuition helped us stay safe from predators, find resources (food, water, medicinal plants), and survive challenging situations. Every one of us is endowed with this same, largely subconscious, capacity today. It’s why sometimes we “just know” that something is about to happen.
Sometimes we ignore or deny our intuition, and that’s too bad. By tapping into our intuition, we can generate great ideas and find the “inspired action” that allows us make the biggest impact.
Even if you feel disconnected from your intuition, you can trust it’s still there. It’s innate to us like our other survival instincts. Sometimes, we need to remember to listen and have the courage to follow our intuition (especially in the face of fear). This is part of the work I do with clients, and I love watching how it propels them forward!
2) We are programmed for community
To stay alive in such a challenging environment, our ancestors used the power of community. They often traveled in groups and organized their villages to protect themselves and their animals (for instance, the Maasai people of East Africa create fences of acacia thorns around their compounds).
It’s no surprise, then, that humans thrive through close relationships (check out this study by Harvard), and creating these bonds is a human tradition and basic survival strategy.
This is part of why I’m so passionate about my work as an Authentic Relating Games facilitator, as well as the relationship coaching I do. When we remove the resistance we have to closeness, support, and learning from others, we are more likely to live a fulfilled life AND reach our goals.
3) We are instilled with a remarkable resilience and courage
The next time you feel fear getting in the way of your goals, remember the courage of your ancestors who beat the odds in the African bush. Resilience, creativity and brilliance are in your DNA.
I hope this email reminds you of how awesome you are, readers. You have everything you need to create a life you love — it’s all about tapping into the genius that’s already within you and the community that’s already around you!
With gratitude and respect,
*Special thanks to the South African Tourism Board for the prize, and to my parents for joining me!
One of our guides with my dad’s favorite souvenir — an elephant made of pink beads
The protea is the national flower of South Africa and they have gorgeous bouquets with proteas EVERYWHERE.
From the time I was young, I knew I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I wanted to find a way to work for myself and make a big impact on the world.
And yet, I was too scared to take the leap until I hired my first coach.
Now in my third year of entrepreneurship, I believe that I would have given up a long time ago without coaching.
This last Wednesday in Buenos Aires is the perfect example of why.
I was on a high when I left my hotel Wednesday morning. Here in Argentina, it’s autumn (my favorite season), our tango trip here was half-way through and going fabulously and I was on my way to a cool co-working space to work with my amazing coaching clients who are up to big things.
As I walked, I messaged a friend back home. I was literally laughing out loud about his witty reply to me when I was hit from behind by a motorcycle. I screamed and felt my phone get ripped out of my hand.
The motorcyclist then zipped off the side walk and into the street. He was gone within seconds.
What the hell am I doing running this dance trip company?
It is totally crazy to be traveling the world and balancing two businesses!
It’s only a matter of time until this all fails and I go back and find a day job.
(Funny thoughts, since both of my businesses are growing and have been since I launched them!)
In those moments after the robbery, I wanted to quit.
That’s right: I wanted to quit running my two profitable dream companies and go back to working a desk job — any desk job would do!
And, before coaching, I would have.
Here are some of the big lessons I’ve learned from coaching that helped me get back on track:
We All Have a Predictable Response to Triggers
At Accomplishment Coaching, I learned that people fall into one of three categories when DEEPLY confronted: They attack (lash out), suffer, or quit. I’m a quitter. In other words, my default is to run away from a situation when I get scared or angry. When I got robbed, my desire to quit was totally predictable. Through coaching, I’ve learned to empower my COMMITMENT (to be an entrepreneur who changes lives), rather than fleeting circumstances or emotions.
Drama is Optional
I could have made it mean a lot of things that I got robbed. I could have taken it as a “sign” that my businesses would not work or related to myself as a victim. I could have beaten myself up about having my phone out, made myself feel awful, or hyper-focused on how much replacing my phone would cost. Instead, I had a good cry, journaled and got plenty of hugs from my business partner. I then ordered a new phone with a great payment plan. I looked at the facts (not any dramatic interpretation of what happened) and allowed the situation to be a reminder to practice better safety and mindfulness when traveling.
AND Honoring Our Emotions Is An Important Part of The Process
I spoke extensively about this in my last email, and it’s worth sharing again: When we step over our emotions, we don’t allow ourselves the ability to heal and to learn lessons that are there for us. As I sat with my emotions this time, I noticed shame. I knew better than to have my phone out while walking around. This was a great opportunity to practice self-compassion and forgiveness.
Expect And Welcome Obstacles
When we are up to big things, we come up against big obstacles. That’s ok because there are lessons to be learned and BREAKTHROUGHS we can have. Rather than seeing this robbery as “that thing that ruined my trip,” I saw it as a normal consequence of running an international travel company and being a digital nomad. After processing what happened, I saw an opportunity to be a better leader and to act with more wisdom, presence, compassion, and care for myself and my travelers. In that way, facing this obstacle helped me further my commitment to who I want to be for myself and my clients.
I wish you each grace with the obstacles you are facing and send you all love from Buenos Aires.