What Support Do You Need to be Successful?

I often hear people ask “What Support Do You Need to be Successful?” In this article we’ll talk about: How some of the major movers and shakers in our world are supportedDifferent types of support professionalsThe challenge of asking for and receiving more supportWhy every little bit of additional support matters In my coaching practice, I regularly give my clients the following truth bomb: You need at least three times as much support as you think you do. While this isn’t always easy to hear, it’s the truth. If you’re not making strides toward your objectives, you need additional reinforcement. Will this require you to go outside your comfort zone? Absolutely. The vast majority of people are not accustomed to asking for or receiving the amount of support they truly need to reach their goals. In fact, the idea of having a robust team behind you can initially seem excessive or even selfish. Furthermore, it can feel confronting to spend the money required to make sure you’re in the peak emotional, physical and mental shape required to succeed. In truth, it’s worth it. Look at any significant changemaker or leader in the world and you’ll see they have many people on speed dial and many different support structures. Need examples? Oprah Winfrey: As of 2012, more than 12,000 people worked for the O Empire. Not only that, Oprah has a generous budget to hire people who make sure she is feeling and looking fantastic. There’s her own coach, Martha Beck; the architect who designed her famous tub that was hand carved to fit her body; and the folks that make sure her hair and makeup is impeccable for her monthly photoshoots. That’s just to name a few…Sir Paul McCartney: McCartney’s staff coordinates with each of the venues on his tours to make sure the star has what he needs. In his dressing room, McCartney requests six full and leafy floor plants; a long-stem arrangement of pink and white roses; a large arrangement of Casablanca lilies with lots of foliage; and an arrangement of Freesia flowers. No fur, leather or meat are allowed, either. McCartney is an avid supporter of animal rights. The President of the United States: There’s no doubt that POTUS has one of the busiest schedules on the planet. Luckily, he can stay focused on the most important tasks because everything else is outsourced. The White House has nearly 100 permanent residence staffers, including a personal chef, housekeepers, valets and a personal trainer. My favorite POTUS support structure, however, is the red Presidential Call Button. Anytime the president needs something — from a Diet Coke to his favorite dessert — he pushes it and a staffer comes to check in. Will Ferrell: To keep his creative juices flowing, Ferrell always requests a few key things in his dressing room. These include an electric mobility scooter, 1 fake tree on wheels, 1 rainbow (which can be painted on canvas), Guinness beer and peanut butter chocolate Zone Bars. Why is this information relevant? The diversity of support structures these well-known figures have drives home an important point: By having tons of support, these people are as ready as possible to do their work. It’s also worth highlighting how specific they’re willing to be with their requests. This level of authenticity with support requests is rare, yet people have so many different needs that we often do ourselves a disservice if we don’t reveal that we truly want. Why not ask for what would make you 100% set up for success? You don’t need to be famous before you’re allowed to be exquisitely supported When you increase your support — even incrementally — you can reap immediate benefits such as better work-life balance and greater overall satisfaction in your life or business. Over the years, I’ve seen people hire professionals including: Life CoachesTherapistsBusiness CoachesExecutive CoachesBusiness ConsultantsPersonal chefsMassage therapistsTravel agentsParty plannersPersonal stylistsMentorsEditorsGhost writersBabysitters/Au PairsHome nursesPhysical therapistsPersonal trainersNutritionistsLawyersDog walkersAccountantsBook keepersRecruitersPersonal assistantsExecutive assistants Rarely do they employ one of the above service providers full time. Instead, they might have a personal chef come cook for their family once a week or increase the amount of massage they receive from once to two times per month (that’s 100% more massage!). If they have a big gig running a luxury retreat, they might hire a personal stylist to help pick out their outfits. Wondering where you could use more support? Ask yourself the following questions: What is causing me stress right now?What service provider could help me manage that?Is the potential outcome of getting this support worth it? Whether it’s hiring a coach to help you overcome overwhelm or hiring a baby sitter so you and your partner can have a date night each week, there can be major, reverberating benefits of investing in support. You may find that your feelings of goodwill in your marriage dramatically increase when you’re able to have fun together on a regular basis. Or that you’re better able to manage stress throughout the workweek when you’re consistently doing personal development work. You can increase your support slowly. We are playing an infinite game, so be gentle with yourself. There is no rush to make sure your support structures are perfect. And no fair beating yourself up if you try something out, decide it’s not right and pivot to something else. If you are ultimately committed to having a life that runs smoothly, keep the larger goal in mind. Any short term setbacks are just lessons learned. It’s always a work in progress I recently got a poignant reminder to practice what I preach. After writing the first draft of my book Self Marriage is just two days, I hired a book consultant to support me on finishing the project. “We’ll be done in one month,” I told him. The concerned look on his face made his next words unsurprising. “Why don’t we give it three?” He asked, obviously trying to be diplomatic. “And you’re probably going to need more support.” …

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Where are the best tacos in San Diego?

When I decided to spend April and May living in La Jolla (a seaside neighborhood in San Diego), I had one primary mission in mind: To eat as many tacos as possible. To accomplish this feat, my friend and I planned numerous tacos crawls (or “taco treks” if you like alliteration as much as we do). Our hard work paid off. We not only had many delicious meals, but also came up with this list to share with you. To get the most out of this article, read it first, and then check out my Taco Trek Map. Please note that not every location listed here is recommended! In this article, I’ll share both my favorite taco spots and the locations I suggest you skip. Read carefully so you don’t accidentally visit one of the sub-par spots. Bahia Don Bravo – Taco Rating: 3.5/5 Right next to my favorite San Diego yoga studio (Riffs), this is a great place to stop for a tasty post-class snack. Bravo’s is very casual (note the red plastic trays) and the tacos are cheap. Promiscuous Fork – Taco rating: 4/5 Beneath all that cabbage you see in the picture below is some downright tasty Asian-braised short rib. The dish is served up with ginger slaw, wasabi cream, sriracha and cilantro. It’s got just enough kick to be exciting! You’ll pay $12.50 for two tacos. Puesto – Taco rating: 5/5 Behold! The best tacos in San Diego! If you only eat at one place during your visit, make sure it is this one! I went back three times and was never disappointed. There are three tacos featured below: The Baja Fish Taco: Puesto beer battered line caught local fish, shredded cabbage, avocado, crema, Morita salsaCarnitas: crispy melted cheese, traditionally braised Salmon Creek Farms pork, avocado tomatillo salsa, avocadoQuesabirria: crispy melted cheese, braised short rib, Jalisco salsa, pickled radish, avocado These tasty treats have a higher price tag (think $7 – $15 per taco), but it’s well worth it. The Taco Stand – Taco rating: 2/5 There is always a line out the door at this place, so I thought the food would be wonderful. When I went for lunch one day, I ordered three tacos: the pollo asado, spicy shrimp and the grilled mahi mahi. The meat’s flavoring was ok, but it didn’t pack a punch of flavor like the tacos from Puesto or the Promiscuous Fork. Tacos cost $3-$5 a pop. Nautilus – Taco rating: 2/5 While the Tuesday trivia and taco night at Nautilus is a blast, the chicken tacos left a lot to be desired. While nautilus gets bonus points for having an actual taco stand on the patio the restaurant (you watch as someone cooks your tacos right in front of you!), the meat lacked flavor. The only upside? There was plenty of melted cheese to enjoy! Jose’s Court Room – Taco rating: 4/5 The fried Mahi Mahi tacos here were very tasty. They’re served with shredded cabbage, radish slivers and creamy chipotle sauce. For $16, you get two tacos, rice and beans. I give the taco a 4/5, but the rice and beans receive a 1/5. A tip on where to sit: When you go to Jose’s, you can grab a table outside and get a nice view of the Bay. The view will also come with a view of the busy street, though. Potential Other Locations To Try George’s On the Cove: We tried to hit up George’s for dinner, but discovered that they only serve tacos at lunch! Boo! With one hell of a sea view, this place is absolutely lovely and I’ve heard the food is awesome. The tacos have local yellowtail, cabbage, cilantro, onion, jalapeño-lime crema and pico de gallo. They’re served on heirloom corn tortillas. If you try out George’s tacos, let me know what you think!Herringbone: Ironically, we stopped at Herringbone to take a breather from one particularly epic taco trek. When we got there, however, the Ahi Poke Tacos on the menu looked amazing! They come with a sweet soy glaze, cucumber, red onion, cilantro and chili mayo. This spot will be top on my list of places to eat when I come back to visit. Not only did the food sound great, but you can’t beat the ambiance of wood-burning fireplaces and live olive trees. If you try any of these recommendations, come back and leave a comment about what you thought! Meg P.S. Have we met? If not, go here to learn more about who I am and what I do. Hanging out at one of La Jolla’s many amazing beaches after a delicious meal of tacos

What is the infinite mindset?

Almost every week, I talk with entrepreneurs, changemakers and leaders about the infinite mindset. This concept comes from the 1986 book Finite and Infinite Games, written by Dr. James P. Carse. It’s become better known in recent years, however, thanks to Simon Sinek’s 2019 Book “The Infinite Game.” The lens through which we view any situation determines how we feel and react. The infinite mindset is a game-changing paradigm that I’ve seen help many people assuage burnout, overwhelm, demoralizing thinking, jealousy, and many other negative experiences. In this article, I’ll share more about these paradigms, why they matter, and how you can leverage them to make the journey toward your goals more sustainable and fun. How do you define Finite and Infinite Games? Carse wrote that “[a] finite game is played for the purpose of winning, an infinite game for the purpose of continuing the play.” Sinek expanded on this, saying: Finite games, like football or chess, have known players, fixed rules, and a clear endpoint. The winners and losers are easily identified. In infinite games, like business or politics or life itself, the players come and go, the rules are changeable, and there is no defined endpoint. There are no winners or losers in an infinite game, there is only ahead and behind.Simon Sinek When we feel pressure about being in a Finite Game, such as hitting a revenue goal or getting a big promotion, it’s important to take a step back. What is the Infinite Game that this short-term experience is a part of? Most of the games that matter to us as adults, after all, are actually Infinite. For instance: Building a career we feel proud ofCreating a business that feels easeful to runRaising our children to be good peopleCultivating great relationships with our colleagues, friends and familyIn this zoomed-out reality, we can trust that the ups and downs of any journey are normal and that each situation is not a make-or-break moment. Rather, there is an opportunity to learn. People struggle when they play an Infinite Game with a Finite mindset… and they often don’t even know this is happening. They take plenty of action toward their goals, but forget to think about the greater context in which they are acting. This latter piece is critically important if you want to maintain equanimity as you pursue higher level goals. How do I know if I’m stuck in a finite mindset? We all get stuck in this mindset from time to time. Here’s how to spot it: You’re playing to win, rather than playing to growYou’re struggling with resilience after a perceived failureYour setbacks sting way more than you’d like them toYou feel like you’re on a rollercoaster of highs and lowsYou’re prioritizing reaching a goal over making this process a repeatable, sustainable endeavor (i.e. “I’ll make this happen even if I work 17 hours a day and then need an entire week to recover!” vs. “I’ll work toward this goal efficiently and with intention. I’ll prioritize sustainable progress and apply lessons learned so I become more and more efficient over time.”Deadlines have serious weight: Meet them, or else… What is it like to have an infinite mindset? You play for a purpose that’s bigger than any short-term failure or successYou stay focused on the big picture as you take steps toward your goals, which tempers highs and lowsYou believe deadlines are meant to motivate and direct you. If you don’t meet a deadline, it’s a good data point.You prioritize a sustainable upward trend in revenue/group dynamics/etc… over finishing something exactly when you said you wouldHow you get to your goals matters just as much or more than hitting them at exactly the specified time (i.e. “Even if I don’t meet my fitness goal, am I eating and sleeping better? Can I celebrate that and continue to work toward the ultimate aim?”) So many over-focus on Finite Games, and this can have serious consequences. These include: Undermining your zoomed-out goal: If you’re sprinting toward one Finite goal after another, you may not realize your approach undermines the Infinite Game you want to be playing. While working day and night to hit six figures, for instance, you might lose sight of your ultimate aim to have work-life balance. Even worse, this sprinting can become a habit or embed a story in your mind that you need to be overworked to succeed. Blocking your day-to-day happiness: If you’re on the Finite Game rollercoaster, you’re likely enduring an unnecessary level of stress and anxiety. You also miss out on the joy and gratitude that comes from celebrating ongoing progress.Perpetuating sub-optimal approaches to reaching your goals: Are you willing to extend your deadline by a month so you can try out a new approach to success that fits your Infinite Game? Or to slow down enough to truly integrate lessons learned? If not, you’re at risk of repeating the same sub-optimal approach again. And again. And again. What are the steps to achieving an infinite mindset? First of all, keep your Infinite Game top of mind. Write it down every morning. Post a reminder somewhere you’ll see it often (and move it occasionally so it doesn’t start to meld into your surroundings). Share it with your colleagues, friends and family. The more you remind yourself, the more your Infinite Game will become a part of how you make decisions and relate to short-term challenges. Next, when you notice the symptoms of a Finite Mindset (high levels of stress, overreacting, defensiveness, etc…), pause. Take a few deep breaths and ask yourself how you can reframe the situation as part of the Infinite Game. The more often you practice, the more quickly you’ll be able to notice what’s happening and change your experience. Finally, celebrate your progress. Playing an infinite game is not a finite game. Put a reminder in your calendar each week to check in on how the Infinite mindset is going. Recommended Resources: “The Lifestyle of the Infinite Mindset” with …

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What’s it like in my business mastermind?

Hello, readers! First off, if you are looking for more general information about masterminds, this is not the blog entry for you. Click here instead. If you are interested to learn more about my business mastermind, you’re in the right place! I’ll share with you 1) a basic overview of what we’ve discussed in quarter 1 (Q1) of the program and 2) snippets of interviews with current mastermind members about their experience so far. An Overview of Quarter 1 in my Business Mastermind Program In Q1 of the program we covered the following topics: Group agreements and how/why to create agreements within groupsParticipants’ relationship to both giving and receiving supportHow to create effective accountability partnershipsCreating a clear vision for the future and measurable goalsVisibility + taking our visibility up a notch (…or 10)Money mindset (money and visibility typically go hand-in-hand) While I have a general outline I follow for my business mastermind, I tailor it based on the group dynamic and the group’s needs. I never hesitate to throw my plan out the window if there is a topic that would better benefit the participants. My clients review their experience of Q1 in my business mastermind Below are interviews with some of the current participants. Let me first first introduce you to them (p.s. they happen to all be ladies, but we do have a co-ed group)! Visit Eloah’s website here! Check out Lisa’s website here! Learn more about Carrie here! …and now on to their feedback… My favorite part about Q1 was… Eloah: The constant forward movement! I really appreciated the pace, and I made a huge progress sorting out my finances. Lisa: Creating my master plan for 2021. It’s helped me focus my energy. Carrie: Enjoying a community with other awesome creators. This mastermind structure is unique because… Eloah: There is so much support going through things that I would otherwise avoid. Lisa: I am able to build relationships with entrepreneurs who understand my struggles, fears, and uncertainty, as well as my vision, growth and bigness. Carrie: of the shared accountability and commitment. My biggest learning in Q1 was… Eloah: how to be unstoppable Lisa: that having a road map is important, even if you are not 100% sure where you are going; accountability and personal integrity are my biggest assets and tools; I am a badass, even when I might forget; I am a leader, even when I feel invisible and insignificant; and I offer tremendous value to my clients, even when things don’t go perfectly. Carrie: that I can trust my peers to hold my vision when I forget If you’re considering this structure, you should know… Eloah: that your life is about to change for the better and that it is never too late to give your life a new direction that feels right for you! Lisa: It is what you make it. Although Megan is an amazing leader and facilitator with an incredible arsenal of tools available for us, it really is up to each participant to be engage, aware, alert and vulnerable. The deeper I go with my own practices and learnings, the more my business will benefit. Carrie: you have value to both give and receive What I appreciated about Meg as a leader in Q1 was… Eloah: Geeez!! Everything? She is such a badass-take-no-shit-and-love-you-beyond-limits human being! She’s also great fun and a pleasure to have around! Lisa: her heart and her ability to hold each individual to their highest self and potential. Even when I think I am failing, I feel like celebrating because of Megan’s incredible outlook that does not see results as right/wrong or good/bad but as a metric to see what’s working and what I can tweak to improve. My business is bigger and has more direction as a result. Carrie: the special blend of playfulness, accountability, insight, and kindness that holds the group together. Click here to read more about my business mastermind program! What are you taking away from this blog post, reader? Share below in the comments!